Two Months Later, Dealing with the Post AT Blues

I recently read a great article on AppalachianTrials.com about getting over post trail depression, “Your 4-Step Checklist to Recovering from Post-Appalachian Trail Thru-Hiker Depression.” The article talks about something that most thru-hikers know they will have to deal with when returning home. It inspired me to talk about how I have been dealing with the post trail blues, and what I am doing about it.

No More Katahdin

In the article I mentioned, the author points out that, even though they have done a lot since coming home, they feel like they have done absolutely nothing. In day-to-day life, there is typically no visible forward progress. There is no Katahdin looming ahead of you, as you chip away at it relentlessly. You may be making forward progress, but you still wake up in the same place everyday.

I started experiencing this almost immediately after coming off of the trail, accompanied by an actual fear of under-accomplishment. I realized that I was afraid of wasting my life. I had just experienced the limits of what I was capable of, so now what? I have to sit around and look for jobs? I have to go to the same place and do the same things everyday? INSIDE?? For me, this has been one of the biggest obstacles of returning to normal life.

Different Perspectives

You come back to a world where most people’s priorities lie in things like television and fashion, and the news reports awful acts of violence. You came from a world where your priorities were food and shelter. Everyone worked together. Life was very simple.

To give you an idea of what I mean, here is a quote from Kyle’s blog about realizing his new priorities:

“Part of my motivation for coming out here was feeling stuck in a rut, a daily and weekly grind, and wanting freedom from the constraints of living within day to day society. And freedom I have found. Heaps of it. The cost of which, I am realizing, is not being able to exercise the freedoms that living within society provides for. Fast and easy transportation, readily available food, showers, sanctuary from mosquitoes. A roof. This experience has shed a light on that which I have taken for granted. So be thankful, and reflect upon the wonder of being able to turn a knob and have clean running water flow from a pipe, without needing to hike .3 miles down and back up a steep hill, or spend 10 minutes filtering it.”

You now have a different perspective of the world. One of the first things I noticed when I returned home was the difference between others and myself. People seemed stressed…twitchy almost. Running around trying to accomplish things that, to me, didn’t seem all that important. It was like being in an asylum and realizing that you used to live there, and are expected to return.

Lack of understanding

Just like I struggled to understand other people’s priorities, most people will never understand the immense accomplishment that thru-hikers have achieved.

The other day a woman asked me how I found the strength to hike everyday if I was drinking and partying every night. Wait, what? Clearly this woman had no idea what we had actually been doing, and she also made some pretty astounding assumptions about my hiking partner and me. It hurt because her lack of understanding, in that moment, had completely undercut my sense of accomplishment.

Unless you want to come off as rude/pushy/annoying, this is something that most hikers just have to deal with. You can answer questions and misconceptions politely, but a rant about what it really means to “hike the trail” is likely to skim right over this person’s head. This is a tough one to swallow. You have to accept that there are people out there who are going to assume/misunderstand/look down upon something that meant a lot to you and that you spent 6 months of your life working to achieve.

What I have done to help combat Post Trail Depression

Set a Goal
I realized that aside from a job, I needed to have something to work on that would make me feel accomplished. I decided that my goal would be to continue blogging about my experiences. My current goal is to publish one post a week. With this goal I can see visible improvements. It is also a great way to put down my experiences in writing while they are still fresh in my mind.

Stay Active
Working out in the sunshine all day is great, but once you are back to work it just isn’t feasible. In order to stay active, I decided to join an MMA class. I have previous experience with Karate and I know what an amazing workout it can be. Joining a class helps me get my ass in gear when I don’t feel like working out. It provides a sense of responsibility to show up and work hard.

Talk it Out With Your Trail Buddies
I have been talking a lot with my hiking buddies about what it feels like to be home again. It’s nice to realize that other people are in the same boat, and to talk about different ways people are dealing with it.

Plan your next Adventure
I have officially started planning my next adventure! It will be a nine-day road trip from Philadelphia, PA to Breckenridge, CO and back again along 2 different routes. I will get to see states that I have never been to, and meet up with friends out west! Whenever I am feeling down, I can start researching what to do on my trip and I feel instantly better.

Have you ever felt down? Tell me what you have done to combat the blues.